Conjugation of the Verbs from Hell

Some sentences to accustom the ear to good usage and wild conjecture:

To lie:

I cannot lie; I cut down the cherry tree and I’m about to lay (to put or place) low the whole orchard (D.O.).
You lied! How could you?!
She would be lying if she said Yes.
He has lied by calling “Wolf” until we have all picked up our crooks and gone home to commune by the fire.

To lie:

Sometimes I lie in bed until noon reflecting on the moon.
The author lay as if in a coma, but he roused at the odor of hot chocolate and inspiration for the end of the sentence.
You have lain in wait for a ghost!
They are lying down for a lovely nap before tea.

To lay:

Now I lay me (D.O.) down to sleep. (Me is the direct object receiving the action from the verb lay.)
Please lay your gloves (D.O.) on the hall table alongside the dueling pistols.
The hen laid a golden egg (D.O.), which we all admired enormously and secretly coveted.
The maid laid madam’s clothes (D.O.) in neat stacks on the chaise, Why?
The nanny laid the prince (D.O.) in his cradle, where he proceeded to dream precociously of scepters and crowns.
And laying his finger (D.O.) aside of his nose, he faded away eerily, leaving behind his limp morning suit, his top hat, and his cane.
Who’s getting laid nowadays? (D.O. lies in the answer “All the right people!”)
After laying herself (D.O.) open to his scrutiny, he laid down his cloak (D.O.) in appreciative response.
With one swift brandish of his sword, he has laid open a mortal wound (D.O.) in his opponent.